Spit Shine

I have one real-life infertile friend. She has been trying to get knocked up for about three years, to no avail. They don't have insurance for infertility (surprise) and have been trying to save up for treatment. They really live on the edge of every paycheck, so it's been a long process for them. She couldn't even figure out her cycle with the OPKs since she was so irregular and she couldn't afford to keep buying the kits. She did get one of those saliva-monitoring tests, though, and she watched her ferning pattern for weeks. When it finally kicked in, they just spent two days in the sack and - voila! Pregnant. After looking at her spit.

Of course, it's early days. You or I would know better than to announce a pregnancy before a satisfactory ultrasound or at least a good rising beta. She is six weeks pregnant and thrilled to the eyeballs - and was very gracious about telling me. And I am ecstatic for her- she will be an amazing mother. She is truly a remarkably compassionate person. But, damn - spit? Really?

The stories about eating whole milk products, timing sex with the phases of the moon, tying red string to the end of the bed - the fact that these ever work at all has got to be purely coincidence, and yet they persist. And I know the ferning is more scientific than that - it does give some kind of useful information - but it's one more story about how all you have to do is ___________________ and all your problems are solved.

The real kicker is that I would so love for us to be pregnant at the same time. We live so far away from each other, but it's still like time has never passed whenever we manage to get together. But try as I might, I don't feel pregnant. I feel hopped up on progesterone, but I know enough not to confuse sore boobs with an actual pregnancy. At 5dp5dt, I feel bloated, tired and frustrated, but I don't feel at all pregnant. I know it's too early to make a definitive statement, and of course I would love to be proven wrong, but I've been pregnant enough times to know that I usually have some kind of early inkling.

I have never been much of a POASer. But I may have to break down and do it just to prepare myself for the lab results on Monday. I think a negative is easier to take if you aren't holding out hope. That said, my clinic doesn't even call with the results until after the second beta - the theory being that until the numbers rise it doesn't mean much anyway - but I think I can have the lab call me directly with the results.

Luckily, I have an incredibly busy weekend booked, maybe I won't have time to think about not feeling pregnant...