I have a project in my office that is eating into all of my blogging time. Not that I ever read or post at work - it would just be too weird if someone happened to walk by while I was writing about my ovaries. My office is very relaxed, but still...
Anyway, here I am putting together a giant presentation on my old-timey laptop at home. Everything is a bit laggy since the files are so big. But, I have a great boss and I am so lucky to work in an office that lets me be incredibly creative. So, I'll have to just catch up on reading when I can and post when my project gets to a less drastic phase. If my comments are lame for a while, don't take it personally...
Nothing to report here anyway, as I am taking (thankfully!) this month off from my reproductive endeavors. Luckily, my drawings should be complete just about in time for me to start stims in June!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Cyst Twist
Did you ever play Hinky Pinky? That's when you come up with a riddle to describe a rhyming two-word answer. Like, a despondent father is a sad dad. A poetry session is a rhyme time. A current pachyderm is a relevant elephant.
In any case, the cyst twist seems to be going away on it's own. I should get a period soon. I have really wrestled with whether or not to dive right in or to take a month off. I so appreciate your comments, both for and against an immediate cycle, and I've had to really think about the difference between what feels right, what may be best, and what all of my options really are. It's been hard, because I actually agree with everything any of you said.
I had a long email exchange with my RE yesterday, just to weigh the options. He thinks one month doesn't make much difference for a single cycle, but that it takes you out of the running for a while, and in the event of a chemical pregnancy or other miscarriage, the time adds up. He just wanted to make sure I could get my final cycle in by September, which is maybe very considerate, but also not too optimistic...
In any case, I am going to wait until June. I am really, really not ready, emotionally, to be hormonally frantic right now. I have been cycling and pregnant and recuperating and cycling again since October. I need a few weeks of nothing. I really really need a break, and right now I need a break more than I need a baby. Is it crazy that I am actually at that point? That I am not drastically willing to do whatever it takes to maybe possibly get pregnant?
It's not some kind of zen-like calm acceptance of the now - it's just that I wake up tired from ten hours of sleep and I can't function like a real person any more. I'm getting headaches almost every day and my appetite is crappy. I'm pessimistic and grouchy almost all the time. This is just no way to start an IVF cycle.
My acupuncturist says that the liver can get sluggish from filtering all the hormones associated with pregnancy, loss and stimming. She thinks I need to take the month to cleanse my system. And as much as I remain skeptical about the new-aginess of some of the things she talks about, I do feel like I'm bogged down and clogged up. I wish I could go to one of those luxurious spas where they detoxify you with seaweed massages and mud baths. If I'm going to "cleanse", I would like it to feel fabulous, but spas are kind of out of my scope right now. Maybe I'll just take the week-long course of liver-cleansing herbs and see if I feel better. Well, and maybe one of those fancy pedicures with reflexology, too...
In any case, the cyst twist seems to be going away on it's own. I should get a period soon. I have really wrestled with whether or not to dive right in or to take a month off. I so appreciate your comments, both for and against an immediate cycle, and I've had to really think about the difference between what feels right, what may be best, and what all of my options really are. It's been hard, because I actually agree with everything any of you said.
I had a long email exchange with my RE yesterday, just to weigh the options. He thinks one month doesn't make much difference for a single cycle, but that it takes you out of the running for a while, and in the event of a chemical pregnancy or other miscarriage, the time adds up. He just wanted to make sure I could get my final cycle in by September, which is maybe very considerate, but also not too optimistic...
In any case, I am going to wait until June. I am really, really not ready, emotionally, to be hormonally frantic right now. I have been cycling and pregnant and recuperating and cycling again since October. I need a few weeks of nothing. I really really need a break, and right now I need a break more than I need a baby. Is it crazy that I am actually at that point? That I am not drastically willing to do whatever it takes to maybe possibly get pregnant?
It's not some kind of zen-like calm acceptance of the now - it's just that I wake up tired from ten hours of sleep and I can't function like a real person any more. I'm getting headaches almost every day and my appetite is crappy. I'm pessimistic and grouchy almost all the time. This is just no way to start an IVF cycle.
My acupuncturist says that the liver can get sluggish from filtering all the hormones associated with pregnancy, loss and stimming. She thinks I need to take the month to cleanse my system. And as much as I remain skeptical about the new-aginess of some of the things she talks about, I do feel like I'm bogged down and clogged up. I wish I could go to one of those luxurious spas where they detoxify you with seaweed massages and mud baths. If I'm going to "cleanse", I would like it to feel fabulous, but spas are kind of out of my scope right now. Maybe I'll just take the week-long course of liver-cleansing herbs and see if I feel better. Well, and maybe one of those fancy pedicures with reflexology, too...
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