Yep, still on bedrest. Low fluid (down to 8) is one of the few things that can mean bedrest even when the baby is technically at term. The main problem it can cause is cord compression. No signs, no symptoms, nothing to do but wait and see if it goes down to the point (like, if it was at 2) that requires an emergency C section. Or, if it's going down steadily and gets to about 5 we might try to induce before it gets too low. But that would mean a uterine catheter for amnioinfusion, which puts extra fluid in there to help cushion things as the baby moves around during labor. Which means I would be limited in terms of mobility, and that just makes an unmedicated birth harder.
So, here I am, still on the couch. Frustrated and disheartened and nervous. If I ever hear anyone go on about "enjoying their pregnancy" I'll just roll my eyes as many times as I can before I tell them to get over themselves and shut up already. Enjoying pregnancy is a big ridiculous myth that's built on soft-focus ad campaigns, with gay male models pretending to be doting husbands to winsome actress-wannabes reclining delicately with a fake bump under a linen sundress. It has almost nothing to do with reality, other than the fact that pregnant women do seem to wear a lot of sundresses.
Reality is just being glad you managed to get pregnant at all, and then wondering what dreadful things might go awry as you count down the weeks. And at the end, when it's supposed to be all about folding the tiny outfits and picking out slings that coordinate with the stroller, here I am wondering if my baby is still alive every time I haven't felt him kick for a while. (He just rolled way to one side, by the way, so apparently is not dead!)
If I wanted to have a C section and just get this over with I could probably talk my OB into it - I get the feeling that docs are happy to do it if there is any kind of a good reason at all. It's faster, easier to fit into a busy schedule, they can bill for it - what's not to like? Except that I have to move house now. Recovering from labor is pretty easy. Recovering from a C section while moving into a two story house is probably not a good combination. And - standard disclaimer - of course I'd be fine with the C if it really is necessary. But I'd rather have the one day of pain followed by five days of tenderness than any kind of surgical recovery.
And why the hurry to move, you may ask? Well, if we could afford to maintain two houses in Los Angeles, we would probably have a vacation place in the mountains, or a beach retreat in Malibu...Plus, I have to get an army of plumbers and painters and gutter-fixing handymen in here as soon as possible, and I don't want to be here nursing a baby while their varnishy smells and drooping pants are lingering around.
The good news is that the biophysical profile always looks great. The little guy does all of the flexing and breathing and swallowing sort of movements that he's supposed to be doing. The cord flow is always good. He's measuring at about 5 1/2 pounds. Most of him is in the 65th percentile, except for his abdomen, which is only in the 10th. BUT, I am not panicking about that yet, since my daughter's pediatrician always measured her in about the 20th percentile for weight but off the end of the chart for length. So, he's probably just following in her long skinny footsteps.
I guess the thing that panics me so much now is that if anything goes wrong I know that I'll never be able to tell myself "it was probably for the best." Which I was always skeptical about anyway, but it gives you something to at least try to cling to, a toehold of understanding. I mean, I'll never know what went wrong with my last pregnancy, but I can at least tell myself that it might have been a terribly unfortunate problem with the baby. I don't really believe that, but I can at least concede that it's a possibility.
I think the bedrest thing is just getting to me, making everything seem worse than it really is. Basically, I should be thrilled that I even have a reason to be stuck on the couch, and I know that. But the grouchiness is getting in anyway.