Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Non-News News

Not much to report here. I've shifted from doing everything I can to get pregnant to doing everything I can to stay pregnant, but staying pregnant is just not very dramatic for me. I take my blood thinners and my extra folic acid and lots of vitamins and go to acupuncture. Nothing too fascinating, no midnight trips to the ER or lengthy bedrests here. Which is all good because boring is what I want now, but it gives me very little to write about.

Unless, of course, I write about peripheral things, like the fact that we are moving. Yes, we are up and leaving our sweet little two-bedroom/one-office bungalow and heading nine blocks over to a groovy new place with actual closets and - my lifelong dream - a laundry room. Interest rates just made it all too good to pass up.

It is bigger than our current house, although not by much. But it's more about the storage and the closets than the number of rooms or how big they are. We'll have one more room and one more bathroom than we have now, but the layout is so much better that it feels like twice the space. The lot size is exactly the same, but the setbacks in the new neighborhood mean the front yards are shallower so there is more usable backyard. Plus, the fact that everything is scaled to modern humans helps - our current house is neither pre-war nor past-war, but war-contemporary, built in 1941. The kitchen cabinets hold about 8 teacups and a saucepan, and our closets are like coffins turned on end.

If it weren't for the little studio building we have in the back we'd have been doomed a long time ago. That room is floor to ceiling storage on three sides, with two big walk-in closets. We keep most everything out there and just bring what we need into the house depending on the season or the occasion. We're like our NY friends with tiny apartments who keep most of their stuff in storage units (although it is more convenient to have the storage on the property.)

I love our little house. It's a California classic bungalow, very lovingly maintained and cute as a button. But it's also an artifact of our fertility struggles. We've been looking at open houses for years, but somehow we felt that we couldn't justify moving since we didn't "need" more room. We only had one kid, after all. We also try to live fairly sustainably, keep our carbon footprints low and all that - it felt philosophically weird to buy a bigger house if we didn't even have a bigger family. And some of that is fine, because it makes sense to really think about what you need and to make decisions that value our resources, etc. etc.

But infertility becomes such an emotional component of those decisions. We didn't want to jinx ourselves by moving, we didn't want to buy in the crazy market and be stuck with a big house and no money for IVF, we didn't want to wonder what the "spare" room was going to be some day. All of our thoughts about moving started to hinge on whether or not we would ever have another baby. We did some more remodeling and told ourselves we would make it work, but we were never really happy with the idea.

I wonder if it's like that for most people who struggle with infertility for a long time. If whatever big decisions are looming - taking a new job, getting a new car, going back to school - revolve around the theoretical idea that maybe, next month, everything will change?

10 comments:

gina said...

I have put off finding a new job for nearly two years now just because we might have a baby and I didn't want to be in a brand new job with no FML benefits.

Congrats on the new house! It sounds great.

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

DH and I have put the plan to move - sometimes we toy with North Carolina for the great property values and nice weather and sometimes California for the lifestyle - indefinitely on hold until this IF wraps up one way or another. Massachusetts just has too good mandatory state benefits, plus DH's current benefits are about the best I've ever read about on top of that. We're definitely staying put to use them up, it'd be crazy not to.

Very exciting house news for you! I envy you and your CA bungalows! ;)

lastchanceivf said...

Yes yes yes! All our decisions recently have revolved around the mythical 'next month everything will change' notion. And we foolishly did move to the better school district into the slightly bigger house pre-IVF. Now, five failures later, we feel like complete and total idiots. We moved to a mixed neighborhood of retirees and young families and we don't fit in either place. And while we'd love to just put a sign out front and move, in this market, no way. So we pass by the white-walled 'extra room' that houses my drum set and an extra bed, look at the big 1/2 acre lot that no one plays in, and, as I said before, feel like idiots.
And also, we've suffered through five failures in this house. That's a lot of crappy memories to store there, so sometimes I just want to be OUT OF THERE.

Anyhoo, congrats on moving on up to a bigger house! Closet space is very very nice :)

musicmakermomma said...

So glad all is going well. Don't get too stressed out during the move! I hope the new house is all you need to help the family grow. Best of luck, thinking of you.

PJ said...

A few years ago we put money down on having a house built, but that fell through. This was way before we knew we had infertility issues. We've since used the equity in our home for IVF, and I thank my lucky stars frequently that we didn't buy that house which would have left us without the money for IVF.

That said, our current house was built in 1947 and I COMPLETELY get the closet/coffin analogy!!! I think we're gonna stay for a few years though.

Glad you're "boring". That sounds wonderful!

stillhopeful said...

Sounds like a great new place, and what a fantastic way to start this new chapter of your life. Congratulations!

I got the new job closer to home and new house with all the extra bedrooms before we started trying, assuming we'd have little or no struggles.... it was kind of depressing for a while, but now I'm glad it worked out that way!

Thanks for the posts on my blog, especially the camera tips!

Best When Used By said...

Congratulations on the new house! Your post raised yet another parallel between us (gosh, I'm beginning to wonder if we've chosen the same name for our boys!). Our little house was built in the mid 1950's, so I had to laugh in complete understanding when you described your kitchen cupboards and closets. We actually have a 6 ft tall bookcase in our kitchen to serve as an open pantry! Well, you enjoy all the new storage and the laundry room! Sounds wonderful!

Lost in Space said...

Closets and a laundry room! Nice. Congrats on the new digs.

Our "plan" was to move to CO while I was pregnant or within the 1st year of our baby's life so I could stay at home. Hubby even flew there a couple times for interviews.

We chose the area we are in now because of the schools and family friendly focus even though we both work at the same place over 30 miles away. We now avoid the great park in our 'hood where all the parents gather and keep the door to our extra room closed. IF really sucks ass.

Sarah said...

yes, i'm pretty sure that's what its like for all of us. its so all-consuming, you can't help but feel that your life revolves around it.

Gwynn said...

Hooray for the boring pregnancy!! (Having not had one myself, I have to say that it is my biggest wish for every pregnant lady I know.)

And congrats on the new house!! It sounds fantastic. I am sooooo envious of your laundry room.

Sorry I checked out for so long. Just had to refocus on the good things a little bit, but I've made up for it by commenting on your last 4 or 5 posts. It was so great to catch up on your goings on, and to read that it is all going so well. I'm grinning ear-to-ear about your uneventful pregnancy!!