Friday, January 29, 2010

More Yuck Than You Ever Thought Possible

Okay, pregnancy is weird. I get it. In fact, I embrace it. Theoretically.

After I peed today there was a gob of yuck in the toilet. A thumb-sized tannish-shredded-something-with-dark-reddish-brown-spots in it. Now, I never lost my mucus plug before my daughter was born, but the phrase "mucus plug" is so yucky that this seemed like it might fit the description.

I called the nurse. She seemed perplexed by the whole description and had me fish it out of the toilet (note - use slotted or perfed pasta spoon, not ladle, to get anything out of the toilet, otherwise you just have to chase it all over the place and it tries to go down the plumbing) and bring it in.

And you know what that means - another hour of toco/fetal monitoring, an ultrasound and a speculum check. Yay! But it's nice to know that things look good in there, even if nobody's quite sure what the yucky thing was.

People actually kept coming into the room to look at the yucky thing. It was like an obstetrical roadside attraction.

I probably should have charged admission.

12 comments:

katery said...

this post made me laugh out loud! i'm glad it wasn't your mucus plug though!

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Hahaha, this was really funny. You're never going to look at that slotted spoon the same way ;).

Glad to hear that everything looks good!

Mad Hatter said...

Bwahahaha! What did women do before they could read about yucky bodily debris on the Internet? How did they survive? Now I know if that ever happens to me, I will charge $5/head!

lastchanceivf said...

Oh dear. I sense a whole new set of kitchen utensils will be in order.

Maybe you can be on Mystery Diagnosis....

Best When Used By said...

Wow. Um, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or make a gross-out face. I may have done both simultaneously. At first I thought, oh yeah, mucous plug. But apparently not. Hm.

The only thing I can attest to is that doctors and nurses are intrigued beyond belief by unusual bodily substances. Anyway, glad all remains okay!

Gwynn said...

HAAA! HIII-larious! Happy to hear it was nothing and causality was your spoon.

PJ said...

Yuck is right! Glad you are ok.

Slotted spoon, lol!

Wombded said...

I hope you're going to a teaching hospital! All of your unusual-ness, should be shared with the maximum number of medical professionals.

Lisa DG said...

Yikes- that must have been a bit scary for you. Sorry you had to go through that. Glad all is well, though. I'll remember the slotted spoon tip.

Take care...

Celia said...

Eww, and also hahahah. My husband had to drive my jug of pee to the hospital. I know he was mortified. hee hee.

I peer into the toilet every time just to make sure nothing like that is in there.

Lost in Space said...

I'm sorry that your scare and trip to the hospital made me smile...only during your description of which utensil to use. (-; Hope things settle down for awhile for you soon!

Jules a.k.a. Julie said...

Oh my! I'm glad all turned out well and I will file away the information relating to the proper utensil in case I ever need it!