Wednesday, September 23, 2009

More Relief

They really had me on tenterhooks yesterday - after I checked in for my appointment I could hear the nurses talking about me in the hall. They were trying to decide if I should go to ultrasound first or in the regular exam room to see the doctor. Should the doc see me first and be there with me while she found the doppler heartbeat, or was it better to be definitive and go straight to ultrasound?

I was hoping for the ultrasound first. The thought of not being able to find a doppler heartbeat and then having to wait for a confirming ultrasound in a room full of giant bellies just seemed too awful. But, they sent me to the exam room first, since they wanted the doctor to be with me in case things didn't look good.

It did take a few seconds for her to find the heartbeat. I could feel my own heart pounding, and could hear it through the doppler, but then it changed - a much faster, smaller rhythm. It was such a relief - I hadn't even known how tense I had been until that moment. I know that just hearing a heartbeat now is no guarantee of a happy ending, but it's the most I could hope for at this point so of course I'm happy about it. Happy while it lasts, can't really do much better than that.

The ultrasound was uneventful, with normal everything. Growth was right on target, the two halves of the brain have the right amount of space around and between them, the femur length is good. I'll have another u/s in two weeks, which is nearing the time that gender might possibly maybe be identifiable if everything is in the right position and etc., etc. Which basically means there's a chance, but don't count on it.

Which of course is fine with me - as long as everything else is okay the gender isn't important. I keep imaging a girl, but that's probably just because I have already have a daughter. I'm so much more invested in having a baby that's actually alive that something like gender seems completely incidental.

So, good. I have an appt. next week just for a doppler check and some bloodwork. Plus, the big decision - amnio or not? Thoughts all over the place on that one, so any advice is appreciated!


Gwynn said...

Wow. Fantastic news! The time between ultrasounds is always killer (and I can imagine more so for you.)

Because of my "advanced" age we opted for a CVS test but then had to have an animo as well. (don't ask. long, long story.) It definitely gave me peace of mind. But I think the main determiner in that decision is... what would you do depending on the test results? If the answer is absolutely nothing no matter what you find out, then maybe there is no reason to do it. It's a very personal decision.

Wombded said...

Lorraine, you've just reminded me that I got terrible headaches every day for 2 or 3 weeks early in my pregnancy. Then I went in and had a good exam in the early 2nd tri and the headaches stopped that day. Can you say stress headache? Hope that's all yours was and that they won't come back now.

We elected not to have any diagnostics. It is something only you and your DH can decide based on your own feelings. GL

So pleased you had a good appointment.

Lost in Space said...

So glad to hear all is going well!

Best When Used By said...

Every little bit of reassurance is a huge relief. I guess I'll be getting only doppler next time and I'm sure I'll have the same nervousness until I hear the heartbeat. If this were my own egg, I'm sure I would do the amnio. But it's a very personal choice. I know there are risks and so it's something you and your hubby need to decide together.

PJ said...

Oh Lorraine! I'm SO glad things are at least looking good. Each small step is something.

If I ever get that far, I will probably not want to get the amnio. But I'm sure that'll mean a fight with the husband.

You're right. That's a big decision.

Midlife Mommy said...

I wish you much more uneventful events.

No advice, because it is a personal decision, but I can tell you what we did. My doctor wanted to do an amnio, and we told him no, because regardless of the result, we wouldn't have terminated the pregnancy. He talked us into the blood test, and if there had been a red flag, he said he would revisit the issue. His position was even if we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy, it's always better to know if there are problems to be prepared.

Had my blood test come back with problems, I still don't think I would have taken the risk of amnio, just because it wouldn't have changed anything for us. (And I had a friend who lost her baby after CVS, so I was probably more petrified than most people about doing anything that might cause a problem with pregnancy.)

That said, my pregnancy came just before the nuchal fold exam was available to us in our geographic area. I would have done that, because it would have given us more information to allow us to be prepared, and it would have been noninvasive.

I wish you peace in your decision. There really aren't any right answers.

DAVs said...

I'm really glad things are going so well. I don't have any advice/opinion on an amnio having never had to consider one but I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice from others out in the 'sphere.
Continuing to send all my happiest, healthiest vibes your way!
PS Did you get my invite to my other blog?

Sarah said...

Ugh, that's terrible that you had to overhear the conversation about whether to scan or exam first, certainly doesn't help the anxiety level.

I did the nuchal translucency scan with first trimester screening as an indicator of whether to do amnio. Aside from the peace of mind it gave me, it's also a really great scan bc it's around the last time you can see the whole baby on the screen-it was so cool to see the little sommersaults going on in there. Best of luck!

Lisa DG said...

The decision is so personal. In our last pregnancy (which of course ended terribly), we had opted not to do an amnio because, the results from the first trimester screening indicated that the odds of having a child with down syndrome were less than the odds of miscarriage from the procedure. You could always do the 2nd level u/s first and then make your decision either way depending on how that looks. Also, amnios don't show everything.

At this point, we're taking whatever we get....

RoseAG said...

At this point I think I'd be thinking, 'in for a dime in for a dollar' and have the amino.

If there is something terribly wrong you'll know and can move onto the next set of unwanted decisions.

If there isn't you can move on to further worry until the little one is safely in your arms.

Since worry is a component either way why not have some facts to base it on?

Kami said...

Yeah! Great news!

I thought I would do an amnio with LB. Nature had picked for us so many times - I wanted the chance to abort a baby that would not have a chance for a happy life. This is from somebody who used to say she would never, ever terminate a pregnancy and had no tests with her first pregnancy at all.

Then my placenta wasn't in the best place for one - upping the odds for it causing a miscarriage. Add to that the 20 week anatomy scan where everything looked good and finally, the fact that Ernest had normal chromosomes even though he was so messed up he was non-viable outside the womb. In the end, we just decided it wasn't worth the small risk.

Of course, this was with a 31 year old's egg.

pain said...

It is bless come form god.The heart absolutely does not stop when sneezing. A sneeze lasts shorter than the normal duration of a heartbeat and has absolutely no effect on the heart beating.