Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Pricked and Prodded

I am just so done with bedrest. In the old days, I would have said that anyone who thought they could get anything done with a newborn was just delusional - but now that I have been on bedrest I realize that at least a newborn is portable, if you are allowed to walk around. Yeah, it won't be easy to manage a long to-do- list, but at least it will be possible to do SOMETHING. I am so, so tired of doing nothing.

I've been having mild random contractions, but nothing that feels significant. Yesterday the OB swept my membranes, which is not exactly painful but weirdly uncomfortable. My cervix was about 2 cm dilated, and after the procedure it was almost 3. The actual cervix manipulation didn't hurt at all, but the pressure against the whole nether region was almost unbearable. The process is supposed to get things going by introducing the whole idea to the body and hoping the body takes over and keeps going. Kinda like putting on dance music at a lame party and hoping that everyone starts to boogie down. And, from what I can tell, maybe just as likely to work...

I've had two acupuncture treatments to stimulate my uterus and calm the rest of me, but so far my ute is still reluctant and the rest of me is still antsy. But it is nice to lie down somewhere else for 90 minutes and listen to this CD which supposedly syncs the two hemispheres of the brain. It's kind of hypnotizing. As my OB said, it can't hurt, so I guess I'll keep trying it every few days. Anything to at least give myself the illusion that I'm doing something to get this labor going.

I know that, short of cervadil and pitocin, there isn't that much that can be done. And I know I'm heading towards those things, so I keep telling myself that the goal isn't so much labor as cervix ripening, since pitocin on a rock-hard cervix is supposed to be a recipe for pain. My next OB appointment is Friday (unless I have the baby before that - I mean, I can dream, right?) and she says she won't let me go another week after that. Monitoring low fluid is so random anyway that it just gets riskier and riskier.

Anyway, I have finally made a birth plan. It basically says: do what you have to, but I'd appreciate it if you could support my desire for a non-medicated birth. The main other thing it says is please, please no cheerleading. If somebody starts chanting "Push-push-push-push-push-push!" or "You can do it! You can do it!" I will just scream at them to shut the #@%! up. Last time I tried to just ignore all that and concentrate on maintaining my zoned-out non-awareness of pain. I think I said "Shhhhhh," once or twice. This time I already know that I am starting off with weak muscles and less stamina than I had before. I just can't worry about being polite on top of everything else.

I put the plan in a basket of individually wrapped Newman's Organic cookies. If I wanted to be totally Miss All Natural, I guess I could have made a basket of seasonally appropriate fruit. But who wants to eat fruit in a germy hospital? Anything sealed up is a better bet. Plus, if I was really Miss All Natural, I would probably be planning a home birth instead. I really do want to be in a hospital - things have been risky enough already that I need the reassurance of having a whole staff of emergency specialists there. So, cookies it is. But at least they're not laden with extra chemicals - and I hope I won't be, either!


lastchanceivf said...

I love your birth plan and I hope no one f's up by starting some ridiculous cheerleader chant! We'll all be silently rooting you on from around the blogworld :)

So it's time to start some boogie dancing!

Anonymous said...

yea birth plan! i hope baby decides to come very very soon.

Natika said...

Here comes some weird possibly unwanted advise....
When I was pg with my last child a midwife told me a secret. She said to lie down in your bed and (gonna sound weird) tweak your nipples. Nipple between your four finger and thumb and play the worlds tiniest violin. Get the picture? It releases natural pitocin and makes your uterus contract like when your nursing the baby just after he's born.
You are supposed to do it till you can feel the tightness and continue till it becomes rhythmic.
It does feel odd. I was just tired of being pg and wanted to meet my son. About 3 hours from the time I did that till the time he was born, was all it was. It worked almost too fast.

Come on baby!

Lost in Space said...

I'm sorry you are at your limit with the bed rest thing. I can only imagine how antsy and anxious you are to be able to just get up and do something.

Your birth plan sounds perfect and I hope it goes just as you plan. Start with the death glare for the first person who tries to cheer. If they can't catch that drift, don't feel bad about letting them have it. (-;

Holly said...

The birthplan is perfect! much more precise than our 2 page wordy thing that said exactly what you said in 2 sentences!

If it is encouraging at all, I went into labor the evening I had my membranes stripped, so try a little nipple stimulation, as Natika said, and GO FOR IT!

Hope your unmedicated labor goes as wonderfully as mine did-the pain was no where as near as bad as I had imagined it.

Christina said...

Sounds like a great plan...I hope things get going quickly for you!

Kami said...

I know it is a bit early, but maybe the acu I did to induce labor with LB is what actually kicked it off. You never know. I also did the whole nipple stimulation and sex thing. I have been nursing LB with this one - maybe 10 min 2-3 times a day for comfort and no sign of labor here. Which, for me and for now, is a good thing.

May it all go better than you expect.

Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I have heard of the nipple thing too, but as I had a c-sect it wan't something I tried. But at this point I'm guessing you'll try anything if it isn't too crazy!

Love your birth plan and the cookies. Hoping you don't even have time to eat them til after this little man pops out in an hour! Take care.

RoseAG said...

The nipple thing will work, and it's way more pleasant than the "membrane sweep" sounds. Maybe a team project with you and hubbie?

Enjoy - and let's hope it moves things along!

Best When Used By said...

That whole cheerleading scenario is precisely why I wanted only my DH (he's no cheerleader), a doc and a nurse in the room. But then again, the issue was mooted by my need for a c-section. And I don't think anyone in the OR will chant on my baby boy!

The cervix manip sounds - gruesome. Yowie. I guess you can't get up and walk b/c they're afraid you'll leak fluid. I thought the whole nipple stim thing had been dispelled as scientifically unproven. Not sure.

Sorry, I'm not much help. All I can offer are positive thoughts and prayers that your boy decides it's time very soon. And a thumbs up on the cookies!

Jules a.k.a. Julie said...

Positive thoughts sent your way for progress and soon!

Wombded said...

My OB/GYN of the last 11 years told me he wanted to strip my membranes when we induced. I said to him that I had heard that it was very painful. He assured me that it was not. "There are no nerves there," says he. I said to him, "Oh, it didn't hurt when you had yours done?" He was so pissed!

I had my prayers answered when his partner, a female, was on call for my delivery. She is now my OB/GYN. And no, she did not mess with me. She waited for my water to break on its own b/c she asked first if I wanted an epidural -- to which I answered that I would prefer not to have one.

I'm so excited that you've made it this far. Who thought a few weeks ago that you would be wishing this baby would get here already?