Somehow, I knew there would be an explanation.
I think the little rehearsed condolence that my OB presented me with at that horrible ultrasound appointment was just something that she learned in medical school. It was too standard, just a clueless assurance that this child must have had some terrible problem and how hard it would have been to deal with those kinds of difficulties after birth, and that I shouldn't worry that it was because of anything I had done. And maybe most people really need that, just a blanket of semi-medical sympathy and a sense that it was "for the best".
Except that in my case, it wasn't.
My labs came back with extremely low levels of a protein that inhibits clotting, and high levels of anticardiolipin antibodies. The protein is "S", which decreases throughout pregnancy anyway, so if the levels are already low you may be perfectly fine until the second trimester, when they really begin to plummet. The anticardiolipins indicate an immune response disorder. The crazy thing is, I've been tested for both of these things twice before since they are part of the standard "recurrent miscarriage" workup. Apparently, you can acquire some of these blood disorders at any time, including....when taking IVF medications.
They don't know for sure that IVF triggered this change. They don't even know for sure if clotting is what ended this pregnancy. They also don't know if my S levels will go back to normal in a few weeks (typically they are very low at delivery and go back up to normal within six weeks). They'll retest for the ACA, too, as well as a jillion other things, but the bottom line is that even if my S is normal next month, it could be that it just gets too low when I'm pregnant.
All clotting problems are worse as people age, so the fact that I had an easy pregnancy almost eleven years ago doesn't really have anything to do with this. Plus, at the time I was on baby aspirin because I supposedly had a mitral valve prolapse (a floppy valve in the heart). I had partially lost my vision one night and was told that the floppy valve can push clots to the optic nerve. Later it turned out that because MVP was overdiagnosed for a long time, my doctor had me rescanned with better equipment and there wasn't even a suggestion of prolapse, so I've been off the aspirin for years. (I have lost my vision again since then, but it turns out to be a precursor to incredibly bad migraines.)
Of course, it just wrecks me to think that a baby aspirin could have changed all this. I had even asked if there was any benefit to aspirin during my IVF cycle, and was told that because I have reflux problems and was not taking any of the acid-blocking medications I should forego all aspirin. Which made sense at the time. Reflux makes my asthma worse, and breathing seemed like an important part of pregnancy.
Okay, when I look back at what I have just typed I feel like I am such a collection of medical problems. Lung, stomach, blood, vision - no wonder evolution doesn't want me to procreate. But I swear I am not some kind of semi-invalid just trying to survive day to day. I feel really healthy most of the time. As long as I don't eat too many tomatoes or sniff a cat I am basically fine. Unless I try to have a baby.