Thanks for all of your kind comments while I have been trying to get myself through these last few weeks. I can't imagine how it would be to feel that nobody has the least idea what this has been like. It's sad that anybody has to know, but in the absence of a solution for that problem, it's comforting to have such empathy and understanding from others.
That, plus a massage therapist, a chiropractor, a facialist, a hairdresser and a trainer - enough experts and I might somehow emerge from this experience relatively unscathed. If I add all of these expenses to the total IF tab, though, I may actually faint dead away. Luckily, our trip to Hawaii was booked on credit card miles and the very convenient fact that my husband's brothers run hotels on two of the islands. (Needless to say, it is our standard getaway.) Still, the financial toll of infertility is just ridiculous at a certain point. The emotional toll is impossible to measure, but I think we all know that it's steep even if you do eventually get the happy ending.
I had my post-op OB appointment today. This is the first time I've ever felt really confident that all of my online research actually gave me a complete understanding of my options - that scouring pubmed articles wasn't just a random and spotty education. I had researched each component of every article that even slightly pertained to my experience, and I had figured out how to filter for my age and for my first trimester test results. Suffice it to say, I had ten vials of blood drawn, I will be tested for everything I asked to be tested for and I have an appointment with a genetic counselor on Friday.
Other than that, I am starting to feel a little bit sort of normalish again. Maybe it's just that the supplemental estrogen is out of my system, but I feel like I might be able to function like a human being again. My OB thinks I will probably get a period in about two weeks, which is a good sign - sometimes it takes the body a while to readjust, but she thinks I am about to ovulate, so maybe feeling somewhat back to normal is just a side effect of actually being somewhat back to normal?